Loved and the week

Each week, I seem to start over with a completely new set of goals. It's like somehow over the weekend I get renewed strength and focus and drive. (that will eventually drain out of me by Thursday or Friday).

This weeks goals: Gym everyday (i'll be out of town saturday and sunday though), healthy eating habits 90% of the time.  Finish mailing out graduation thank yous.  Apply for 3 jobs in varying locations.  Plan one trip to see any one of my friends who are living out of North Carolina. Oh, and I should start reading my bible everyday too... because its kind of a good book. 

I was okay with being at home for a while, but it kind of hit me this weekend - that living in my house with my parents isn't exactly where I want to be right now. (and I don't really know where I want to be)

Loved and visiting

Those of you who know me well, would know my sister and I have never been particularly close.

Well, I just got back from visiting her and it was wonderful.  I mean ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.  I had a great time - she said she had a great time - and neither one of us would have said it if we didn't mean it.  I went up to DC with my parents to celebrate for Father's Day.  We went to an amazing museum.

And then we talked about me visiting again.  I don't want to jinx it or anything... but now that we are enjoying each others company, I would consider looking up there for a job.

Loved and my excuse

Hi friends.

Believe it or not, I have a semi-excuse for why I haven't been updating you.  I actually have several.  I've been busy, bored, working, not-busy, traveling, working-out, talking, crying a little, and smiling a lot.

So.  I have lots to tell... but here's the thing - I don't know where to start, or to re-start.   Or if it even matters.  Life get's bogged down, and we change resolutions and change our goals.  I have about a million things to do - every second of every day - but instead of crossing stuff off of my list - sometimes I like to sit in the excitement of it all.

I like to let it all build up.

Let me share with you the best/worst of it all.  I am working for a company doing marketing things.  I enjoy it, for now.  I am working for my mother doing communications/office/you name it things.  I enjoy that to.  I am about to start volunteering/interning/hanging around until they give me a job/can hire people at another company.  I'm nervous about that.

I've been working out every day.  Except Saturdays, because the YMCA doesn't hold convenient hours for me then and I've been busy.  I like working out.  Its kind of like an escape, because when I tell my parents I'm going to work out - they won't tell me no.

I've been missing my friends a lot.  All my friends.  A lot are still around - I've just been missing them - or weird about calling - or blah blah blah. ... but a lot of them are gone for the summer and that makes me sad/weird/I don't really know how to explain it.

I don't mean to overshare/make anyone nervous/worried for me... but I've been crying a little too.  Here are the conditions under which this occurs: a) Its always after I work out b)Its always something that I can't quite put my finger on And c) It only lasts for a few minutes.  Weird right?  My sister said I've always cried a lot - I told her its different this time - because for the last few months I've been really good about controlling it.

I am far happier than I was in school, but far less happy than I remember being a month ago... or compared with last summer.

If you can't tell - I am kind of a mess.  I mean just kind of everywhere. I'm okay with this right now.  I am going to let it build up a little more before I act.  That way I can be sure to only pay attention to the really important things.