Loved and being a (pretend) mother of twins

First off, I have about 6 started blog posts. Its often difficult to finish them because I lose my train of thought or I decide I'm tired and will finish it in the morning. I am going to start making a serious effort to finish those up.

Next, most of you were able to see the beautiful set of twins I am taking care of.  (If you haven't seen them... here's a photo of their first day on this big old earth).

Meet George and Sarah (yes, I'm aware George is in pink)

This picture is somewhat deceiving... In fact, in this picture they look normal newborn size.  Let me assure you. They are in no way normal. These babies are tiny little miracles.  Neither of them could weigh over three pounds. I bet they are barely two pounds. In the town I am living in, we can't even find diapers small enough to fit them, so we use 'newborn' diapers, which I could effectively wrap them both in with room to spare. 

George and Sarah are miracles.  If not for the mere fact that they are so tiny. Their mother is incredibly sick.  She is HIV+ and has cancer that is spreading and causing the severe inflammation of her limbs. We had been working on getting her treatment.  Sunday, we got a call saying that she had just given birth to twins at the main hospital in Mityana.  We sent our social worker up with clothes for the babies, as is customary, and then our social worker came home with the babies (after much discussion with our director and probation officer).  Mom is simply to sick to care for them and the hospital doesn't have the tools to keep these babies healthy. We had our Ugandan doctor check them out and fix their umbilical cords (as the main hospital did a terrible job) and now they are my sweet roommates. (Later, we have found out that the midwife who delivered them assumed (that's right, did not make the effort to check) George was dead at first, and did not do a good job for that reason on tying the umbilical cord. In fact we are fairly certain the main hospital did not care about these two precious lives, as they received little attention after the birth).  

Currently, they sleep in my room.  If you have ever lived with me, you know that staying asleep isn't exactly my thing. Well, this just in, being woken up isn't really my thing either... BUT it is totally worth it to feed and take care of these precious children.  In my crash course of being a mom, which is at a total of 48 hours. The following is what I have learned:

• Babies have no concept of this is night time and this is day time. Infact, mine like to sleep silently through the day and cry at me at night. 
• Sometimes when you think they are done eating, they aren't. So it is best to check and see before putting your complicated crib warming device (read: tons of blankets, and heating pads) back in place.
• I'm tired. I give props to those moms out there who are also working. I mean, I have the opportunity to take a nap at 3ish every day, but the thing is I wake up and then I am like I have school to do too, and all this morning I was practically useless.

Loved and Goldfish

Yall, this is a little embarassing, but I need you all to understand.  I have had this tub of Goldfish in my tote since I arrived here in May.  I was saving it, until I couldn't stand it any longer.  Well after I cried over chicken and dumplings, I opened it... and promptly finished it within two weeks. It was totally worth it.

Loved and Ishaka

Three weekends ago I got to visit Ishaka.  It is in the south western part of Uganda.  Its is about a seven hour drive. Which is kind of long when you are making it just a day trip.

We drove through Fort Portal... and saw some baboons.

Then we drove through a part of Queen Elizabeth Park

Some type of Antelope

Buffalo

Lake George

Antelope - we saw them fight it was cool

Cactus Tree

Drove into Ishaka, which is where we picked up a friend of the orphanage...

View from the road out of Queen Elizabeth Park

View from road out of Queen Elizabeth Park

Then turned around and drove back. Saw some more animals in Queen Elizabeth Park. 

Can you see the elephants?

Can you see the elephants/

Then stopped at the equator line (which we skipped on the way there).

It was a blast. 

Loved and when you tell me you are following/read my blog

but really, this is exactly how I feel... and you know, I've always wanted to be a famous blogger or some type of internet sensation.

Loved and Chicken n Dumplings

This week, we had chicken and dumplings.  I cried. It made me miss my parents. It reminded me of cooking with them, gathering around the table, laughing in the kitchen. I miss having the resources I have at home to cook with. I also miss having my mom's cooking, there is nothing like it, she's an amazing cook.

I miss her meatballs, and sneaking them out of the pot as they simmer.  I miss zucchini chips and hamburgers (without the bun). I miss american food, but the food here is so much better for me.  Its all organic and I can pronounce all the ingredients on my processed food, which is kind of really awesome.

In America, we think about food a lot, types of food, amounts of food, etc. In America, food is a hobby, for almost everyone.  Here, you realize how much you must rely on food for fuel.  There are less options (especially where I live) and it makes you realize that food shouldn't be a hobby.

Not that I don't have a list of food I want when I get back. To start it includes: Chicken and dumplings (made by my mommy), meatballs (made by mom), taco bell, mexican restaurant food, my mom's mexican, cheese, a hotdog, and spinach.

That's my list, for now.

Loved and being 'set up'

Today we had a friend from town come over who does our sewing.  She brought her daughter.  "Come here" she said to me, "This is my daughter, I brought her to you so you guys could be friends."  We both laughed, clearly embarrassed because of the awkwardness, and the obvious language and cultural barriers that we would face. So we chatted a little, and it was sufficiently awkward for both of us, because we don't really have anything in common, but what made me laugh the most was that its a total "mom" thing that her mom did.   It was a unique experience.

Loved and being lonely

Sometimes, I have a little mental breakdown here, because sometimes its lonely.  Sometimes I miss having 'my people' close by.  Sometimes it sucks.

But those sometimes are far outweighed by the good things and the difference I feel like I'm making.

Every child deserves to be loved.  Every child deserves to be adored. Period. Honestly it is that simple - and if that means that I can't consistently have 'my people' around me, then its a small price to pay... because once one of those kids laughs in your arms, it all doesn't matter so much anymore, because you are getting a glimpse of untainted happiness, and it is beautiful.

Loved and Little Miracles

Yesterday, Leila started to walk - on her own!

I am unsure how long Leila has been here, but she is about three years old, and had not yet begun to walk, because when she arrived she was so severely malnourished that she was the size of a six month old baby (I believe she was actually about a year old... I think).

It is the little miracles though.  Her learning to walk is amazing.  Some of these children come from truly horrific circumstances, abuse, malnourishement but they are growing here. Not only growing, but blossoming into amazing children, who are learning what it means to be loved. Today, when we were on our way to pick up some visitors, the children were all standing together, singing and dancing. It was beautifully amazing. So much joy from children who have had so much hard stuff. I wish that I could remember to have that much joy, no matter the hard stuff.

Loved and Rain

Today it rained. It was beyond a blessing.

During dry season it is dusty. Not just a little dusty, a lot.

It rained, a lot. Which is great, everything just soaked it up. It was beautiful.  I don't think I ever appreciated rain in the states, not really.  Here though, water is life, and since you can't depend on city water to be on, (it was off ALL last week), rain means the fighting at the free wells will stop (as it begun to occur when city water was off last week.  The rain also means that when I walk uptown, I will no longer come back looking like a village child. The rain also means that during every day it rains, it will be cooler and windy while it rains. Its beautiful.

Loved and Liz & Christian this post if for you

Guess what I found at the store in Kampala (they have them for purchase in huge boxes too...)

Then, I promptly ate it on the way to the car. It was delicious.

If you are lucky, I will bring you some home.

Loved and soon (some of) my friends are leaving

I made some dear friends (so far) while being in Uganda.  I feel like they were put here in order to help guide me in the beginning, and to encourage me.

They are leaving soon... but last week, I had the privilege to go and spend time with them and I had a blast.  I love them and their daughter and will miss them dearly.

But, it would be selfish of me to not share what we ate last time I was there.  So you know how you can go to restaurants and get a cookie in a skillet.  I was craving that (specifically hot chocolate chip cookies) and so we made are own.  Unfortunately, I don't know how those are actually made, and we maybe didn't have all the "right" ingredients. But we mastered it(sort of) and it was delicious.

Loved and I am doing a very bad job of documenting in photos

Every time I sit down to write a blog post, I think, wow, I should upload a picture - but then alas, I have none.

I will do better (possibly) in the future.

Things are so beautiful here, that most the time I find myself staring in awe, unable to even think about taking a picture - and then it passes/I move/the light changes/my phone doesn't have battery.

I will try and do better. Just think I'm in a tropical paradise (that is currently covered in red dust), but is still beautiful.

Loved and tomorrow is Monday

I used to be good at Mondays, before I got to Uganda.  I would be so rested and ready for the beginning of the week. 

Now, I dread them.  I don't mind the rest of the week - but Mondays feel long and sneaky. I mean they literally sneak up on me. 

And I do stupid things like stay up late on Sunday nights which make Mondays a hundred times worse. 

Loved and Teaching

I have a glorious new respect for teachers, not that I've been playing 'teacher' for the past month.  I mean I only have 6 students, (and they are all in different grades). I respect you all more.

Teaching is hard.  I love my students, but sometimes they drive me crazy.  Somedays are great and they understand their material which makes me beyond thrilled. But, somedays I feel like I am a broken record of "Stop talking" and "Do your work" and "Why are you just sitting there" and of course my personal favorite "I don't understand why you don't understand"

Other things I am learning is a little bit of how my parents felt when I would just cry and be in tears and they would say "I cannot help you unless you stop crying" which in response I would just cry more.  I am beyond thankful for my parents patience, because that happened my 2 week. One of my students was crying over her math work.  I just got up and sat beside her and said "When you stop crying I will help you."

I am so thankful for my parents being incredibly patient with me, because I have some of that patience now and its helping me become a better individual.

Teaching is hard work... but so is learning.

Because I'm sure if I lined up all the things I (their homeschooling books and my awesome explanations) have 'taught' my students with all the things I have learned - I think I might have learned more.

I'm learning how to be patient, kind, calm, keep them on task, not break out into tears, etc. Its a lot, and its absolutely wonderful.

Loved and Uganda (again).

I just really need to put in words how much I love Uganda, which is hard because a lot of times its so overwhelming.

I wake up every morning and things are even more beautiful than they were.
I meet people who have such pure hearts and intentions that I help but love them.
Also, except for a 2-3 hours in the afternoon, the weather is basically a tropical paradise.

I have a very happy heart here.

Loved and Needs

Being in Uganda has taught me a lot about wants and needs.

Like I need to learn the difference in actually being tan, and being so evenly dirty that I think its a tan...

okay.. now being serious:

I want power to be on all day long so I can have the fan running and then take a hot shower and then have internet.
I do not need power. Its nice. It makes my days easier. but it in no way contributes to my life in the way that if I didn't have it, I would die.

I want city water to be on when I want to clean my dishes and shower.
I do not need city water to be on (all the time).  There are other places to get water.  If the water is on, I don't always run to the sink to clean my dishes. I sit there and think about how I should.  When water is on, I take it for granted. When water is off, I whine. (which makes me want to slap myself).

I want cheese all day everyday. (less of a good example)
I do not need cheese.  There are other foods. I generally like the food I eat.  Yes, I would probably enjoy it more if there was cheese on it. but, it is in no way killing me to be without.

Loved and being a "good person"

Hi friends. This is one of my pet peeves. When people tell me I am a "good person" I want to correct them, because I'm not. Not really. I seem "good" because I am a child of my wonderful God. A lot of times I'm not "good" at all.

I'm full of sin, I am also full of redemption.

I struggle a lot. I struggle with small insignificant things. I struggle with big life changing things. I struggle with following directions. I struggle with being honest with God and with myself.  I struggle to let go of little things. I struggle with gossip.  I struggle with reading my bible every day and relying on my God.

I wrote in my journal yesterday: "I am angry over something I know is dumb, but I don't care." How ridiculous am I? I wanted to slap myself as I was writing it(and just now as I was reading it). I also wrote: "I need to get over it. Forgive and forget, right?"  It is so much easier to write or say or tell someone else than to actually follow it.

I don't like when people tell me I am a 'good person' for being here.  Honestly if it was my choice, I don't think I could say I'd be here and be one hundred percent honest. I'm here because my God is strong and mighty and loving and said "Go."

I am incredibly thankful that my God is loving and forgiving and knows my heart.

I am also incredibly thankful that my God has given me a spirit of power and love and self-discipline. And not a spirit of fear.

Lastly, I am thankful that people think that I am a "good person" because its nice to know that others thing positively about me and feeds my ego... but one of my sweet friends said something, I consider to be the highest of compliments... she said "You're so good for the world"  I like that much better because inherently, I am not a 'good person.'  I like to think that there are several positive aspects to me, but if I am being honest, those positive things are all not me - they are things God has graciously given me.

I don't mean to rant or sound like I hate myself - because I don't. I just want you all to know that I am in no way a 'good person' I am merely a sinner who is loved by an amazing God who is in all ways good.

Loved and just over a month (here)

hi friends!  I've been here just over a month.  I miss you guys a lot. I really really really miss my parents.  Some of you have asked for my contact information. I would love to receive emails/mail/skype calls from all of you.

You can mail me stuff at:                                 You can skype me at:
The H.O.P.E. Center Uganda              michelle.dipietro

c/o Michelle DiPietro

Kanoni Road Kigoogwa TC

P.O. Box 59

Mityana, Uganda

You can email me sweet things at:   michelle.dipietro@gmail.com

If you are going to mail me a package... things that I would like are american things and velveeta cheese. I am also working on decorating my school room.  So if you have school posters/maps/inspirational quote signs you were going to get rid of - I'd love them for my classroom. 

The best time to skype me is sometime after 2pm your time or 12-1am your time during the week.  During the weekends I'm more flexible.  

I do miss you all, but I am loving life here.  Uganda is beautiful.  Everytime I look outside my breath is taken away by how naturally beautiful it is and how lucky I am.  

Life here is simpler and I like that.  I like that my key is old timey. I like that I get to sleep with a mosquito net canopied around  me.  Its the simple things, right?

Let me know how you all are doing! 

Lots of love, 

Michelle

Loved and smells

This will be brief. I don't want to gross you all out too much. but this goes hand in hand with my previous post.

The thing I hate the most about the water being out is that everything smells like poop.  I mean everyone poops. I'm pretty sure there is a book titled everyone poops.  but if the water is out (and I am aware that it has just gone out)  I only have one flush on my toilet.... I have to use my "best judgement" on when to use that flush.  I can always go get more water and pour it in and the toilet does a 'semi' flush - but honestly I get one good flush. And that's how it is for all the toilets in the city (or whoever else's water is out).

I hate saying this, but sometimes it smells gross here.  I mean jaja does her cooking outside my window - so whatever she cooks (morning, noon, and evening) I can smell. I can also smell the charcoal (which she heats up and cooks on), the chickens/turkeys who insist on pooping everywhere, and anything else that wafts through my tower.

(*disclaimer* sometimes jaja's cooking smells delicious - but most of the time its mixed with all the other smells and its not so yummy smelling)

Loved and it's electric

I am still loving Uganda.  Sometimes it feels like this was always part of me, I  mean the need to here and the life style.  Everything here is so relaxed and even though I am normally so high strung, its teaching me how much I need to rely on God.  

I was going to make a potato vegetable bake yesterday... but I wasn't able to get what I needed, because there were other bigger issues.  So instead we took out some ground beef and let it thaw.  We are without a microwave this week because it is uptown at the samsung store the orphanage operates and we are doing demonstrations to the Ugandans. (they don't really understand all the wonderful things you can do with it)  Anyways, thawing meat without a microwave takes a long time to sit out. So when it was time to cook dinner - I scraped what was thawed and started with that. Luckily that was enough for everyone who was eating to eat with the tortillas made earlier. Then I proceeded to place the frozen chunk of meat in the pan and alternate scraping the sides so that the rest would be cooked for today. (and we could heat it up in the pan because we are still microwave less). 

So since yesterday we didn't make the potato dish - and all my potatoes came in yesterday evening, I was going to make it today. Well the power was off today... but honestly it wasn't a huge deal.  We had left overs heated on the stove (we have a gas stove but an electric oven).  Tomorrow we will have pancakes so maybe on Sunday we will have potato dish. 

So yesterday I also had to buy an "Internet Everywhere" stick.  Its a little stick that you pay for in advance for a certain amount of time and it gives you internet any where you are. (read:it almost makes me have a mental breakdown to get it started because its finicky).  But after paying about $60 so that I would have internet for sure when I am working on school work (specifically tests).  I had a 15 minute fight with it earlier today, while the power was off (and I was looking up a fact for my students).  and a 20 minute fight with it tonight while trying to take my test. (Katie, Heather, Melody - I cannot even explain how incredibly thankful I am for that email you sent me).  I got the internet stick to work. I took my test. 

The other thing that I am learning how to deal with is the water.  I always have to check to see if city water is on.  We have a rain water storage that is connected to the main house, but my princess tower is connected to city water.  I have to have city water and power to take a shower.  Last night, I was SO lucky and took a nice hot-ish shower.  The thing I am learning though is the difference between my wants and needs.  I want to take another hot-ish shower tonight, but I don't need it. ( I don't smell bad yet).  

I want to have power and electricity all the time - but I don't need it.  I am by no means saying I am ready to live without it - because I am not. I'm having so many struggles without a microwave this week, but when I say to you all, "Electricity was out today, or City water has been out." What I am really saying is that its been a small inconvenience which has caused me to do a little extra work or have a slight inconvenience (like go get water from the rain water storage or not being able to charge my phone).

I am learning the difference between my life necessities and my life nice-ities.

Loved and sounds

I am loving it here. But there are some big differences. This week I am struggling with what we will call "night time noises".

The church down the street has a microphone and speakers that creates the loudest racket I've ever heard. I say racket because I cannot understand anything, there is some awful background music, and no one I've met has positive things to say about that church/pastor.

The "guard" dogs love to chase anything and get into everything. Including the outdoor kitchen (when it isn't locked). I use guard loosely, because they are pretty sweet dogs, but ugandians are terrified of big dogs.

When the water goes out and turns on in the middle of the night. It sounds exactly like (sorry to be crude) someone is having explosive diarrhea. Which is due to the air bubbles in the pipes.

Also the turkeys (and chickens). Gobble gobble gobble. I am going to gobble them up if they continue being the loudest animals... Every single morning... And by morning I mean at 5 am.

Factor in the occasional crying babies, water pressure release from the tank each night, and the car horns (which are used constantly here) and that includes the sounds of Mityana... At least where I am. Which is why I feel like I am never asleep, because I'm always listening.

Loved and cheese

Many of you know, one of the more stressful things I faced before I left was that cheese is not common in Africa- super uncommon in most of Uganda (except for in the city and it is very expensive).

Well, you all have no need to fear for me anymore... Because I learned how to make cheese yesterday. (mozzarella and ricotta)

Today I made my first batch by myself of ricotta!

Loved and Adjustment

Hi friends. I am struggling. It is in my nature to be trusting. This culture is different. I understand some of the reasoning- but it is hard to maintain "me" and adjust.

I struggle with the fact that people stare at me ALL the time. Simply because I am white.

I struggle with the fact that I can't understand anything anyone says. (unless it is come here, or hey white person).

I struggle with the fact that I have to be constantly on my guard about not being taken advantage of financially. (because believe it or not, there is a white person price that is slightly higher for everything here... if you are not careful).

I struggle with the fact that people on the compound who are Ugandian and do speak English, have heavy accents and I always have to have them repeat what they are saying. (they also like mumbling).

I struggle with the fact that power and water are luxuries.

I struggle with the fact that paved roads are not a thing, and that dirt roads deteriorate.

I struggle with knowing how much I should trust everyone here.

but I am incredibly thankful and happy to be here.

I am learning so much, that often I am so exhausted by the end of the day that I fall right asleep and don't wake up several times in the night.

I am incredibly happy that I not only have the opportunity, but the privilege to have your support with me.

(I don't want this to sound like I am unhappy - because I'm exactly the opposite. I mean this to be a simple statement that adjusting is hard but I know I am going to be okay - but right now its just hard).

Loved and electricity

Hi friends, I am finding that weekends work best to give you updates and fill you all in, on my exciting adventures.

This week, I learned that just because sometimes I have electricity and water, does not mean that all the time I will have electricity and water. Thankfully, I live with Americans who have a generator and a water tank to help supplement some times.

Learning that city water and the power plant can go out at any moment have made me more thankful and aware about how I use my resources.

I also found out this week that my shower had been slightly electrocuting me every time I tried to adjust the hot and cold water... because power lines here are not grounded. So I have to remember to take a shower with flipflops on. (granting that water and electricity are both on - today we were missing water).

p.s. I am incredibly thankful for face wipes/baby wipes.

Loved and being a millionaire

Hey friends,

One USD is equal to 2,590 Ugandian Shillings.

In Uganada, I am a millionaire. Also in Uganda I don't understand money. 

Let's talk about my first purchase. The nice Indian man at the grocery store says "35" as my total for a coke and some cookie wafers. I had not been told about the exchange rate... All I knew is that I had just pulled 1,000,000 Ugandan Shillings out of my bank account (around $400) because that is what they normally do (it is the max you can pull out and to minimize the fees you are charged). First off the bank they took me to - which they said is the best (least fees and most money you can take out) does not accept my special bank atm card I got to travel with. 

So. Here is the thing - you are in a foreign county. people are staring at you because you are white and you just realized you are basically a millionaire. The man says "35" as your total. Do you think 35 hundred or 35 thousand. In Uganda they don't tell you - you are just expected to know. I just stood there and shuffled through my wallet.  In this case it was 3500. The nice man at the grocery store laughed and told me it took him six months to master the money when he first came.  

That being told to me - I might figure out the money stuff in time to leave. 

lots of love, 

Michelle!

Loved and Bathroom Struggles

Hi friends!

First off. I am incredibly thankful for indoor plumbing. I am incredibly thankful that here in Uganda, I have indoor plumbing. and I am incredibly thankful for city water and electricity.

here are some pictures of my bathroom.

The shower controls lead to a nozzel directed at the corner. 

I am actually having pretty good luck with this setup. but it is different... and here is how. This picture was taken during the day. At night, the bathroom looks 100% different because there is no light in the bathroom... so we leave the door open and turn on the light in the bedroom, which helps. You want to know what doesn't help. When electricity is off. Then its like hey, its not only dark in here but you must also hold a flashlight.

I have a hot water heater. Tawni gave me advice on it and I didn't listen the first time. (let it heat up the water for 30 minutes first... if there is both electricity and water).  I only let it heat up for about 15 minutes. That results in the water turning ice cold.  I have another question after I did follow her instruction tonight... which is - the water was scalding hot if I just turned on the hot water and freezing cold if I tried to add cold water. Is there an in-between?

These are very big 'first-world' problems.  I am beyond blessed to have a bathroom - I feel like a princess - just sometimes a frustrated one who has to pee in the dark or get burns in the shower.

Lots of love,
Michelle!

Loved and... I'm here!

Dear Friends, 

I am here and things are going great.  Sorry I haven't posted yet, and there is so much to share, yet when I sit down to write it out, all I can think is, today is good.

Lets start by going over what its like living here. I feel like I am a princess. I live in the back of the compound and up some stairs - which in my head I refer to as my 'tower.' I have a canopy bed (also known as mosquito netting).     And I have a bathroom in my room (read: look for a post about my struggles there).  

My 'tower' has two rooms - the front room, and a bedroom (which the bathroom is in). Currently Tawni is sleeping in the front room, but after she leaves it will just be for me to do school in/have as an entry way/have a refrigerator. (p.s. I have a refrigerator and a fan and electricity and hot water).

View from my 'tower'

so tiny!!

Kitty doesn't like flash photography.

We also have a pet kitty, I don't seem to be nearly as allergic to him, as I am to every single cat in the United States.  He (actually we are unsure if its a boy or a girl) is very cute and enjoys meowing loudly at night (keeping me and Tawni awake) climbing in his cage, and playing/exploring.

I have met many Ugandians here. As far as white people go... a couple from Australia, a retired pastor from Virginia who we met while we were just out one day, a girl from Georgia a little older than me who teaches in town, and a boy (also a few years older than me) from Texas (although I am incredibly confused on what he does).  I walked into uptown Mityana with Tawni and Elizabeth (the owner of the orphanage's 11 yr old daughter) and the children yell at us "mzungu" which means "white person." You are constantly on display. Everyone stares at you all the time.

We saw a two white people in uptown yesterday, which is very rare. The grocery store here is run by two Indian men. There are a lot of people from India here. I asked Angie (the orphanage owner) and she said that they own a lot in Uganda and don't always treat Ugandans well.  To me, they were very nice.  One that helped me the other day was teasing me because I cannot figure out the money(look for a post on money coming soon). 

I am still working on getting settled but it is so beautiful here and the kids are sweet and all is well. 

Lots of love, 

Michelle!

Loved and less than a month

Somehow I missed the monumental marking of the "one month" till my trip...

But today, a few days short of a month - I made everyone in the office cry by showing them a video of The Hope Center, which had text in a different language, and they all started crying.  I point out that the text was in a different language... because obviously my first instinct when text is in a different language is to not only make up what language it "probably" is but also to act as an interpreter... (because not only can I 'assign' which language I think it should be, but apparently I think I know all the languages). So they were crying, and I am making up words that seem correct and then I think...

This is my life right now...  Everyone is sad that I'm leaving and I'm just excited/full of anticipation.  I mean I am nervous - but its like happy overwhelming excited energy nervous, not like anxious nervous like I am normally.  Packing is overwhelming so mostly I just watch movies and work and don't worry about anything that makes me anxious (good plan, right?). My room is a war zone full of goodwill piles and tasks I need to get done... and I'm in the middle avoiding all of it.

I cannot wait to be in Uganda because at least I will get to love on the children.

Let's be honest, all I really want to do is love on the children. A lot. Today, I was sharing with one of my three year olds at work, who wasn't feeling well, how much I loved him and was going to miss him and I will. I cannot wait to leave, but I'm afraid to miss out on all of those three year old adventures, hugs, and 'makeovers.' I just want to love on those kids... everywhere.

Loved and 42 days

There are 42 days until I leave. Six weeks. To me it seems like a long time... But considering I bought my ticket somewhere before the 60 day mark and I hadn't looked at a count down until the 54 day mark... 42 days isn't that long.

Today I think I realized how much I'm going to miss my kids.  At my current position I get countless hugs everyday, along with the occasional comment on how they like my outfit or that I look pretty. I've become accustomed to that. Not that I take my self worth from children who eat their own boogies - but I know they wouldn't be saying the comment/giving me hugs unless they really wanted to.

I guess thinking it over, I'm worried about making friends with the children.  I've worked hard for the love I get here, and I risk losing all that when I leave. There is a chance the kids won't remember me at all... 6 months is a lot longer than 6 weeks.

Not that it changes my mind - not at all. But it does make me want to get extra hugs and fish for some extra complements before I leave.

Loved and Making this my "Official" Blog

Dear Friends,

I decided that upkeeping another blog for my trip to Uganda would be too much... Also, I'm probably not going to think of a much better title/meaning than I have for this one. So this will be my blog for Uganda... which means in the next few weeks, I will review all of my old posts, probably change a little bit of formatting, and give you guys more information about me/what I think I'm doing/why I want to.

This is your heads up.

Loved and Airplanes

I love airplanes. I think airports are magical. I also tend to come up with my best/worst ideas in airports.

I am in the process of visiting all of my out of town friends before my trip. (I booked my ticket so now its very very real).  I booked my ticket to arrive in Uganda on my birthday.  If you've ever met me, you know that I love birthdays (especially mine).  I cannot think of a better present to myself.

Back to the process of visiting all of my out of town friends. I'm going to visit my college roommate/bff/soulmate. I am so super excited. When I called her to tell her about Uganda, we discussed how exciting it would be, and she understood how upset I am about cheese not really being available there.  She not only understood, but sympathized. I know you are all thinking - cheese is not that big of a deal. To me its kind of a bigger deal that hot water. I'm afraid I will lose that community when I go.

I love traveling, but I will always tell someone I prefer to be with my community/home.   I love airplanes because when I was little, I would always meet someone new and interesting on a flight, and by the end of it we would be best friends.  Now - I really struggle with that.

Loved and Uganda

Hi Friends.

Guess what. This just in... I'm going to Uganda. Today I was lucky enough to speak to a missionary who runs the H.O.P.E. Center. I have quite a lot to do before its "official" but we are looking at the April-November time frame.

Here is to 2013, to making things happen, and to living out God's word.