Loved and my excuse

Hi friends.

Believe it or not, I have a semi-excuse for why I haven't been updating you.  I actually have several.  I've been busy, bored, working, not-busy, traveling, working-out, talking, crying a little, and smiling a lot.

So.  I have lots to tell... but here's the thing - I don't know where to start, or to re-start.   Or if it even matters.  Life get's bogged down, and we change resolutions and change our goals.  I have about a million things to do - every second of every day - but instead of crossing stuff off of my list - sometimes I like to sit in the excitement of it all.

I like to let it all build up.

Let me share with you the best/worst of it all.  I am working for a company doing marketing things.  I enjoy it, for now.  I am working for my mother doing communications/office/you name it things.  I enjoy that to.  I am about to start volunteering/interning/hanging around until they give me a job/can hire people at another company.  I'm nervous about that.

I've been working out every day.  Except Saturdays, because the YMCA doesn't hold convenient hours for me then and I've been busy.  I like working out.  Its kind of like an escape, because when I tell my parents I'm going to work out - they won't tell me no.

I've been missing my friends a lot.  All my friends.  A lot are still around - I've just been missing them - or weird about calling - or blah blah blah. ... but a lot of them are gone for the summer and that makes me sad/weird/I don't really know how to explain it.

I don't mean to overshare/make anyone nervous/worried for me... but I've been crying a little too.  Here are the conditions under which this occurs: a) Its always after I work out b)Its always something that I can't quite put my finger on And c) It only lasts for a few minutes.  Weird right?  My sister said I've always cried a lot - I told her its different this time - because for the last few months I've been really good about controlling it.

I am far happier than I was in school, but far less happy than I remember being a month ago... or compared with last summer.

If you can't tell - I am kind of a mess.  I mean just kind of everywhere. I'm okay with this right now.  I am going to let it build up a little more before I act.  That way I can be sure to only pay attention to the really important things.