Loved and check-ups

Recently, one of my absolutely favorite friends lost her daddy. When I first received the news I didn't cry, I just pursed my lip, put my phone down and moved on. Honestly, at that moment, I didn't know what to do. She had recently helped me through the death of one of my sorority sister's mothers, and I remember her saying the best thing I could possibly do is to just be there. That was my intent. I let her know I'd be there if she needed anything, but she's a grown-up and has a lot of really super awesome friends (like I do). So I knew she'd be well taken care of even if I couldn't get to her. I called a few times to her house, to do some check-ups. The first couple of times, I only spoke to her husband. Each time, he seemed thankful that I called and at the end of the call asked me how I was doing. Let's just say, I know he could probably tell, but I wasn't - not really. I was struggling with the reality of all of it. My heart hurt for her, and I knew it wasn't me that could fix it. Also I was overwhelmed with school and future plans and just junk in general. When I did get to talk to her, she told me how happy she was that I got to meet her daddy. I could not even explain to her how much I had enjoyed that. He was absolutely wonderful. Someone who helps to give me faith in humanity as a whole. Also, he is really really funny. Like laughing so hard I can't breathe funny. (one of my favorite qualities). But talking with her, wasn't exactly the same, and I couldn't exactly point out how I could tell so clearly that it wasn't. And I also thought, maybe my own "junk" was clouding things. So, this past weekend, when I called to check up on my dear friend, I figured it out, almost immediately. Its the way she answers the phone when I call. I was reassured when I called to ask when I could see her, and I said "Hey, this is Michelle" and she replied "Michelle, who?" She always answers the phone like that when I call. and I love it. In fact, that's how I can tell when something is really wrong - when she doesn't. That's how I know she's going to be okay. Also, that's when I realized we all have our own "junk" its part of our everyday. I think sometimes God gives it to us to see how we handle it, and I think sometimes he needs us to rely on him and not on others. I've cried a lot through this. Particularly after I got to see her and her adorable daughter and possibly why writing this in the campus computer lab. But this is what I learned: - God heal's all of our wounds - I have really awesome friends, that I possibly love too much - I should enjoy the time I have with others - oh and I should rely on God to deal with my "junk" - Checking-up on others is something that is important I hope this makes the type of sense that I'm meaning for it to make which is: I really love my friends, I really loved my friend's daddy, I really need to learn to let God heal others, I really need to learn to let God deal with my junk.