Loved and being a "good person"

Hi friends. This is one of my pet peeves. When people tell me I am a "good person" I want to correct them, because I'm not. Not really. I seem "good" because I am a child of my wonderful God. A lot of times I'm not "good" at all.

I'm full of sin, I am also full of redemption.

I struggle a lot. I struggle with small insignificant things. I struggle with big life changing things. I struggle with following directions. I struggle with being honest with God and with myself.  I struggle to let go of little things. I struggle with gossip.  I struggle with reading my bible every day and relying on my God.

I wrote in my journal yesterday: "I am angry over something I know is dumb, but I don't care." How ridiculous am I? I wanted to slap myself as I was writing it(and just now as I was reading it). I also wrote: "I need to get over it. Forgive and forget, right?"  It is so much easier to write or say or tell someone else than to actually follow it.

I don't like when people tell me I am a 'good person' for being here.  Honestly if it was my choice, I don't think I could say I'd be here and be one hundred percent honest. I'm here because my God is strong and mighty and loving and said "Go."

I am incredibly thankful that my God is loving and forgiving and knows my heart.

I am also incredibly thankful that my God has given me a spirit of power and love and self-discipline. And not a spirit of fear.

Lastly, I am thankful that people think that I am a "good person" because its nice to know that others thing positively about me and feeds my ego... but one of my sweet friends said something, I consider to be the highest of compliments... she said "You're so good for the world"  I like that much better because inherently, I am not a 'good person.'  I like to think that there are several positive aspects to me, but if I am being honest, those positive things are all not me - they are things God has graciously given me.

I don't mean to rant or sound like I hate myself - because I don't. I just want you all to know that I am in no way a 'good person' I am merely a sinner who is loved by an amazing God who is in all ways good.